For more than a year, I had the same conversation with a former lover of mine.

I push, he pulls.
I push, he pulls.
I push, he pulls.

A consistent back and forth of inconsistency.

And just like that, one conversation changed it all.
Or maybe this one conversation finally made me realize something I had been avoiding all along: some things aren’t meant to last. Not relationships. Not jobs. Not places we live in. Not ideas, dreams, values, or ideals.

And that’s okay.

I can give it my best. I can give my everything — and still feel like I’m not “enough.” Not because I lack something, but because it simply isn’t meant to be. Because I was never given the chance to be enough — and that isn’t on me.

And he was finally able to admit this. He was able to see the walls I was never allowed to climb. I think that gave me closure. We both sank the ship — not just me.

Like I mentioned in a prior entry: some people only share our path for a certain amount of time. Then it’s up to me to set them free — or to set myself free from them. To let go. To move on.

And for me, the time has come to move on.

Not with anger. Not with disappointment. Maybe with a little bit of hurt — but also with deep gratitude, and hope for what the future might hold. For all the possibilities that open up when I stop settling for someone, or something, that isn’t meant for me. I’m not resisting life’s movement anymore.

I realized that during our last conversation, my mindset shifted.
It went from I need this person in my life no matter what — I want to be the one who brings them joy, happiness, and love — to something quieter, softer, and far more honest:

I’m happy when he’s happy.
And if someone else can give him all of that, then kudos to them.

To my own surprise, I felt relief. Like a weight lifting off my shoulders. I didn’t have to worry about him anymore. He had someone by his side. And I genuinely hope he won’t make the same mistakes we did. I hope he lets her in. I hope he gives her a real chance.

In a different life, that could have been me.
And I’m grateful that I got to spend time with this person — time I will treasure forever.

And I felt relief, because this was the end of our constant back and forth. This was the end of uncertainty. I know exactly where I stand now, and I can finally exhale.

Even though a part of me still wants to be chosen, there’s also something quietly beautiful about not being chosen — gently. It brings certainty. No more pondering. No more wondering. No more waiting.

I got my answer.
I got clarity.

And now, I can move on with my life.
This time, I will be prioritizing me.

I want to get my spark back.
I want to welcome love into my life that doesn’t require proof — or a change of character on my part.
I want to be me.

SO long, my fellow travellers, stay true to yourself and know your worth.