I don’t mean this in the usual sense of the phrase.
I benefit from my friends immensely, all the time — and not at all sexually.

I benefit simply by having these wonderful people in my life.
People who see the sometimes rugged version of me and still choose to stay.
People who give without needing to receive in return.
People who show up, time and again.
People who listen to the same problem on repeat.
People who want to see me thrive.

I once listened to a podcast with Simon Sinek where he said something like this:
“We usually call our friends when something bad happens, when we need someone to vent to or confide in. But who is someone you can also call when something amazing happens to you?”

That struck me. Because a true friend isn’t only the one who holds you through heartbreak, but also the one who cheers the loudest when you win.

And these wonderful human beings I’m lucky enough to call my friends do exactly that.
My people. My support system. My home away from home. My network stretched across the globe. My community. My friends.

Of course, friendships like this aren’t effortless. They take just as much intention as a romantic relationship or a healthy family bond. As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to tell the difference between the good and the bad ones. And honestly? That’s one of life’s harder lessons — to choose friends wisely, to let go when it’s time. Because just like any relationship, some friendships simply aren’t meant to last. If it drains me more than it fills me, I’ve learned I have to say goodbye — even if I thought it would be forever.

People grow in different directions, at different paces. That’s just the way it goes.
But what I want now is to grow alongside my tribe. To be my fullest self, without hiding any parts of me. Believe me, in the past I tried wearing masks to protect friendships that weren’t worth keeping. That never worked out — usually, for the better.
There’s nothing more freeing than saying all the silly, random thoughts out loud around your people and knowing they’ll never judge you. They might laugh, sure, but only in the most loving way.

And right now, I can clearly see who my real friends with benefits are. The ones who are there for me no matter how messy my life looks. No matter how big the change. No matter if it means more distance between us in the future — distance that’s only physical, never emotional.

The ones I’m not afraid to bring hard topics to. The ones I can ask for help without hesitation. The ones who can bluntly tell me what they think — of my choices, of my life, of me — but still let me live it in my own way.

I feel blessed, grateful every time I think about this.
And don’t get me wrong — it’s not always sunshine and pancakes. Oh no, sometimes it’s hailstorm and burnt toast. But we work it out. Just like in a romantic relationship, you put in the effort if the person matters to you. If you want to keep them in your life. If they fill your cup, even when it’s not easy.

Another blunt truth?
It’s never really 50/50. Sometimes it’s 70/30, or 20/80. But it’s always worth it.

I’ve learned a lot from my friendships (and relationships, for that matter) over the past years.
That my happiness doesn’t depend on anybody — but the right people can add so much to it.
That I am worthy of everything the world has to offer, just the way I am.
That sometimes distance is the right decision, even if it hurts.
That I can grow plenty on my own — and it starts with me — but I can grow even more with a supportive community around me.
And hopefully that will never stop.

Call your friends – the real friends with benefits.
So long, keep growing! Until we meet again.