Alright, let’s talk about love for a little bit. But don’t expect me to stay on the main road. This will most likely, knowing myself, get messy. I’ll be taking shortcuts, bypasses and service roads…

I’m not going to go into the details of my last relationship — not because I have unfinished business to work through, but because I believe most of it, and the person at the heart of it, deserves to stay private.

I like to love in private.
But I’m also someone who’s never been afraid to show the world how much someone means to me.
Still — what’s between you and me, should stay between you and me. And no one else.

But let me ask you this: Is love just an illusion?

Because from what I’ve seen and experienced, partners come and go like seasons.
People are being swapped, replaced, “moved on from” in the blink of an eye.

It seems like everyone’s chasing the perfect love. The one.
Well, I hate to break it to you — and this is just my own belief — but I don’t think the one exists.

You don’t find the one.
You meet someone great — and you make them the one.
Because you decide they’re worth it.
But it’s never a magical discovery. It’s a conscious choice.

What I’m experiencing now is… hard to describe.
The person I was once so fond of — the one I couldn’t imagine life without — now feels like a stranger to me.

Yes, we hadn’t spoken for months. For good reasons.
And now we’ve only just started reconnecting — slowly, cautiously.
But it’s strange. I long for it and fear it at the same time.
It feels like home and a new world.

It feels like we think we know each other…
when in reality, so much has changed.
I’ve changed. (Hopefully, he has too.)

It’s this awkward in-between.
Neither of us wants to assume anything — but we also pretend it’s still the same as a year ago.
So the real questions go unspoken.
The ones that should’ve been asked out loud.

And I wonder:
Should I have left that door closed?
Was the “Just wanted to see how you’re doing” just an excuse?
An emotional reflex?
Am I still grieving the relationship —
or am I grieving the version of myself I was in that relationship?

Because I’ll admit it:
I’m a hopeless romantic. Always have been. Always will be.

And yes — I believe in soulmates.
But not that there’s only one.

I believe we meet different soulmates in our lifetime,
each for different reasons, different seasons, different lessons.
People we’re inexplicably drawn to.
People who shift something inside of us — whether they stay or not.

And “what returns to you is yours forever,” right?

But I think, as much as I want people to stay in my life,
it’s even more important to set them free.

It should be a conscious decision to stay in someone’s life —
a decision that feels like ease, not obligation.

Whether it’s friendship, work, or love —
I want to be in someone’s life because I add to it.
To their happiness. To their joy.
Not because of history, habit, or guilt.

Anyway, I’m drifting further and further from the main road.

I guess what I struggle with right now is this:
Can people really find their way back to each other?
Or does “there was a reason it didn’t work out the first time” always apply?

Should I hold on to someone just because I believe in their potential?
Or because I’m not ready to let go of the version of myself I was with them?

Maybe it’s both.
Maybe it’s neither.
Maybe love isn’t meant to be figured out — just felt.

So long, keep growing. Until we meet again.