I guess at some point life is just going to throw you into the situation you’ve been trying to avoid for the longest time. It could be anything—a choice, a question, a truth you’ve been avoiding. At some point, life has had enough of your indecisiveness. Pressuring you to make a move.

I can’t balance on the edge of the cliff forever. And yet—I could stand here and watch sunrise after sunset for eternity. It’s familiar, almost feels like home. The wind brushes my face, the sun warms my shoulders. But the ocean below whispers my name. It tempts me to give in, to take the dive. To let go.

What if, though, I make the wrong decision?
And how will I ever know I made the right one?

I wouldn’t say I can’t make a decision—I sometimes just don’t want to. My inner child, still selfish, still wants everything. All the good parts of both sides, if possible. But by not choosing—by refusing to commit—I’m never really a hundred percent anywhere. I pour energy into something I know I’ll eventually have to let go of. How much longer can I postpone the leap—or the step back for good?

I won’t have the strength for much longer. I can already feel my knees trembling.
If I don’t choose one, I might lose both. And then I’d be back at square one.

And that’s dangerous. If I wait too long, life will choose for me. But wouldn’t I want to make my own decisions? It’s my life after all. I’d like to believe I’m the tour guide of my own journey, taking full responsibility for every twist and turn. And yet, sometimes, I just want someone else to read the map—to point me toward the safest path home.

But maybe that’s the whole point. Perhaps it’s never really my decision in the first place. A higher power will always somehow guide us where we’re meant to be. A gentle nudge. A soft push.

Yet still, I have to face the consequences of the choices I make—or that have been made for me. And let me tell you, they’ve caught up with me.
I can’t outrun myself anymore.
This is the turning point.

It comes down to what I think I deserve.
(It comes down to what I think you deserve.)
How badly am I still hiding from my own happiness?
Which dreams do I actually want to become reality?
What values are non-negotiable in my life?

It usually circles back to the same old question for me: Should I stay or should I go?

If I go, I could become the truest version of myself. I could finally create the life I’ve always dreamed of, but was too scared to grant to myself.
If I stay, I could become the truest version of myself. I could finally create the life I’ve always dreamed of, but was too scared to go for.

I’m balancing between comfort with limits and possibility with uncertainty. My heart races, my stomach tightens, the wind pulls at my hair. Maybe the truth is—I’m already in free fall, and I haven’t noticed it yet.

Maybe the decision has already been made. And maybe I’ve just been resisting—avoiding fully committing, avoiding saying goodbye to the other possibilities.

So long, keep growing. Until we meet again.