The strange thing about questioning your entire life is that the world doesn’t pause while you figure it out.

People still ask:
“So where are you going next?”
“What’s the plan?”
“Are you moving back home?”

And the honest answer is: I don’t fully know yet.

There are so many ideas moving through my head and my heart — how should I know which one to choose?

The one that keeps me close to the people I love?
The one that could give me the life I’ve always dreamed of?
The one that feels the most unselfish?
Or the one that simply happens by default?

Isn’t it fascinating that I’m living in the twenty-first century and yet I still find myself wondering if I’m even allowed to create my own life — especially as a woman?

Am I allowed to swim against the stream?
To search for deeper — bluer waters?
To ask for something extraordinary?
To not settle for the things my mama did?

As I’m writing this, I notice how much of me is still trying not to hurt or offend anyone with the choices I make.

There it is — another layer of old skin I still need to shed.

Because the truth is, no matter what direction I choose, someone might wish I had chosen differently.

And maybe that’s exactly the point.

Maybe the moment you start building a life that feels deeply your own is also the moment you accept that not everyone will understand it. And with that, relationships — whether platonic or romantic — might end, while new ones will flourish.

I guess there’s no such thing as the right place anyway — only the place I decide to build something in. And maybe there’s no right time either — just the moment you finally decide to start living.

I’ve always believed deeply in freedom.

If there’s one thing I know I can’t live without, it’s that.

Freedom to move.
Freedom to speak up.
Freedom to love.
Freedom to choose.

Simply — freedom to live as I please.

Freedom to follow opportunities when they appear.
Freedom to create possibilities when they don’t.

But freedom isn’t only exciting.

Freedom also carries responsibility.
Uncertainty.
Possible failure.
And sometimes — loneliness.

And strangely enough, that’s part of the thrill for me.
Failure has never frightened me as much as the idea of never trying.
Because failure is simply another form of experience.
And experience — experience always teaches something.

As I mentioned in a previous entry, there’s a quote I’ve been quietly living by for a while now:
Everything is a win if the goal is experience.

And yet, freedom can feel overwhelming when the world suddenly opens up too wide.

Because if I could go anywhere — what place should I choose?
If I could become anything — what do I want to be remembered for?

Just yesterday I talked to a close friend about this. We both realised that sometimes we think so much about all the possible outcomes and ideas that we end up making no decision at all.
We get overwhelmed because we don’t want to choose the “wrong” idea — and therefore we don’t start anything.

I guess Nike had it right from the beginning: Just do it.

I’m not sure if it’s a modern problem — with all the possibilities we have and all the different ways of life we constantly see on social media — but are we chasing a perfect life that we intrinsically know doesn’t exist?

Maybe the real trap isn’t choosing wrong.

Maybe the trap is believing there is a perfect life waiting somewhere — if we just choose correctly.

As if there were a hidden formula.
A single right path that would magically make everything fall into place.

And if we only think long enough… compare long enough… analyse long enough… we might finally discover it.

But life rarely works like that.

Another trait that seems to have gotten worse over time: overthinking.
I notice it in myself constantly — this attempt to solve life like a puzzle before actually living it.

But clarity doesn’t meet me when I’m stuck in my head.
She meets me after I’ve done something.
After I’ve moved.
After I’ve tried.

And if not now, when?
I think your twenties are made to explore, try, be curious and rebellious — to take chances and make mistakes.

I guess it starts by getting out of your head and into the world.
Don’t just think and worry about the life of your dreams — go and live it.

It’s not about getting it right all the time or making perfect choices.
In my opinion it’s simply this: What am I curious and courageous enough to try next?

Until we meet again — move out of your head.