Here I am.

It feels like spring.
Plants are starting to bloom — and so am I.
The dark clouds over my head have moved on, and sunlight is caressing my skin.
The smell of freshly mowed grass lingers in the air — anything is possible.
My steps feel lighter, and my mind seems brighter.
It feels fresh, full of hope, excitement, and adventure.
It feels like the start of a new chapter — and it was about time I closed the old one.
It feels like a clean slate.

I’ve learned from past experiences — from mistakes, but also from positive outcomes.
I’ve gotten to know myself better, and I’ve got to say: I quite like her. I’m excited to see where she’s going, and I’ll be rooting for her all the way.

Over the last two years, this girl has been on quite the rollercoaster. Watching her grow into the woman she is now has been — and still is — a very intimate privilege.
The back and forth I saw her struggling with. The falling into old habits. The coming out stronger anyway. And, of course, the people who gave her support and comfort throughout this journey. Looking back (but not staring), I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way for her. Maybe sometimes I wished she’d look after herself better — but it’s a learning process. I’m proud of her.

Somehow, this also feels a bit like the end of a journey — you know, like a happy ending. Even though I know this new chapter will be full of ups and downs, just like all the ones before, I feel ready to take on whatever comes my way.

After all, what’s a good book without any cliffhangers, tension, or change? That would be boring, wouldn’t it? And the way I live my life, it’s guaranteed to come with some of the best stories.
Imagine, for a moment, a life in which everything works out exactly the way you want it to, all the time. I wouldn’t be able to feel gratitude anymore. I wouldn’t be able to truly enjoy it.

I think there’s a deep sense of “I want to earn this” installed in every human being — or maybe it’s just me. If everything were always going my way, I’d be deeply sceptical of life. What would it be trying to teach me? How would I be meant to grow through that experience?

So yes, I’m grateful for every downward spiral — because it shows me how strong I am once I’ve made it back out. It also tells me a lot about my surroundings: the people, the places, the energy I choose to keep close.

In a way, I know I don’t have to earn anything — not love, not attention, not gratitude, not worthiness. And yet, sometimes, I want to earn it. I want to earn my place at the table. I want to earn my position in the company. I want to receive the reward for having poured my energy, time, and other resources into something.

I think the most important part is awareness — knowing the difference between “I have to” and “I want to.” W here is my motivation coming from? From within, or from the outside? Is it intrinsic or extrinsic? Am I living my life the way I want to — or the way others would like me to?

I am standing at the crossing between one chapter and another, and I can honestly say that I’m living life on my own terms. I’ve grown into a confident woman — at peace with her past, and looking forward to everything that’s still to come. So many possibilities and opportunities are yet to be seen, felt, heard, and lived.

And until then, I’ll be living in springtime — enjoying the cherry blossoms.
Until we meet again, I hope you’re enjoying your springtime as well.